Scito te ipsum

So I keep telling myself that I'm going to sit down and update, and I've been yearning to post pictures and videos from the adventures of the past two weeks, but trust me when I say this, I've had simply no time.

Alas, its true. To think that I thought I would have a lot of time to just relax by myself. Not that I'm complaining. I think all the fun that I pretty much missed out in 2009 was squeezed into the past 2 weeks!

Everything has been happening in such rapid succession that there's just not been 'breathing time', literally. First the double whammy sleepovers, then the going out with Crescent folks, then the going out with mum here and there, then the prom shopping, then prom, then meeting seniors, and now india.

Here's to more fun to come. But for now, farewell Singapore :)

There's so much to freaking update but its 1.20 am in the freaking morning so I'm going to freaking sleep!

:)

Goodfreakingnight folks.

So A levels are almost done.

Wow.

One more paper to go though, but thats 13 days away. My goodness, A levels are almost done. I can taste freedom already.

But if there's one thing I am sad about, its that I'll never get to see my classmates on a regular basis again. Its been a very eventful two years together, and the experiences in AJ are unforgettable, good or bad.

I have so many things to do!

Shopping list:
. Shoes
. Bag
. CDs
. Soaps
. Scented stuff
. Bedroom furniture
. Patio accessories
. JEWELLERY

To-do list:

. Sign up for swimming classes
. Lose weight
. Go for some enrichment courses
. Pick up photography
. Get a manicure
. Learn cooking from Mum
. Teach Sahana
. Read all the titles I've been meaning to read for a long time
. Fall in love ;)
. Bake
. Come up with a training programme for AJ junior debaters
. Go back to Crescent
. Organise a party at new house
. Continue with keyboard lessons

Meeting people:

. MARS SLEEPOVERRRRRRSSSSS (I miss you ppl TTM)
. Watch 29893847472 movies with classmates!
. Get coffee with random folks
. Crescent LD Gang!!
. 4S2 people!

So exciting!

The title of this post is inspired by the HULAKINAPOOKABALUSHA tribe in central South America. Okay, nah, I'm just talking nonsense. Its remarkable how I tend to immediately associate certain sounds to certain feelings. As my classmates probably know well enough by now, the following sounds are very apt:

Fear/Suspense: TA NA NAAAAA!!! (In increasing loudness. Basically, TA is like a whisper, NAAAAAA is shrill)

Sneha's Tip: Say it with a malicious glint in your eyes. :P

Here's another one:

To show how something is very fast: BURRRRRRRRRRR. (Read: Barrrrr, not BOOOOOR, FYI.)

Alright, alright. Enough with the disturbing sound effects that can probably be taken as proof of my insanity.

I just came back from the market. I enjoy buying bananas, didn't you know? My childhood hobby. Picking a perfect bunch is such an absolutely captivating experience! -.-

In other news, I went to Ze New Home last night and my room is painted!! Its painted a sunset yellow, almost bordering on a very light orange. I love it! OMG, I'm moving out of this house in like 6 days! I'm going to miss this place! I always have an emotional attachment to every home I've lived in somehow. For as long as I can remember, my family's always been on the move: From Delhi to Bangalore (In India) and then to Singapore, and within those places we're moved homes too. But this current home is where I spent 8 years! Almost all my teen years were spent here. So many sleepovers, so many parties, so many happy and sad times, 3 major examinations (PSLE, O & A Levels), entering and graduating from Crescent...Many memories.

Oh well, a home is made with the people who live in it, not only the physical living space.

For now, the focus is still on the remaining two exams, but as Nelson says, it feels like its almost done and there's no more control over the results for most of the subjects. Its a very scary thought. Econs was not particularly spectacular, if euphemisms are tolerated. What kind of topics were they?! What happened to the policies?! Somehow, during the lectures and tutorials, I always got the impression that macro policies and AD/AS framework is uber important and then in the end, it doesn't even come out. But, I wrote whatever I could at that moment, so I leave the rest to God.

Mum's calling, will post ze pictures laterrrrr.

Stay merry, folks!

I am moving out of my house in like less than two weeks!!!

So exciting! I'm going to redo my room-just came back from another 'visit' to take measurements and stuff.

I swear, I am gonna go CRAZYYYYY after the As! So much to freaking do, and I feel so bad and useless not helping my mum pack all our stuff into the 298394778747 boxes.

Seriously, my house has become The Cardboard Box Place.

Musking tape, Permanent Marker, Scissors, Boxes, Newspaper (to wrap the glass stuff) and Labels-These are are like eternally sitting on the table.

Its so coincidental that a fellow AJCian and friend is buying my current home! Little would I have even known last year that I would be moving out and all. Life's so unpredictable.

In other news, HISTORY AND MATHS AND GP EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! Thats three subjects down, two more to go! Woohoo! Almost finishing!

I WANT TO BUY SO MANY THINGS.

Haha! My parents are giving me some moolah for the room! And can't wait to get some patio furniture and other stuff. (:

And and and, I'm really looking forward to becoming Sahana's full time PSLE tutor. I enjoy teaching younger kids. Especially when I can scold them ;) (Sadistic, much?)

Had a fun morning hanging out with my parents at the new house! I went mad with the measuring tape and my mum said I'm an immature idiot. :P Whatever!!

Okay, okay. More studying to do, and then, LIBERATION!

ECONS.LIT.ECONS.LIT.

Let's go!

:D

Tomorrow is the day my A Level Examinations start.

2 years in preparation for this. All the lectures, all the tutorials, all the reading and the answering.

Its now time to do our best, and be done with it as well as we can.

As nervous as I am, I am also curious-how would it turn out, how would it feel, how would it be.

Time will tell. But for now, there's the last stretch to cover. Let's do it!

All the best to those doing the A Levels (:

I feel like going to a restaurant by the sea, where I enjoy a tasty meal with good company and a lovely view of the crashing waves.

Just spend 2 hours there, and then come home to read a lovely, interesting book.

And maybe a late night movie with popcorn and fizzy drinks. And if the movie makes me cry or laugh, all the better.

I AM SUDDENLY VERY HIGH.

I AM VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Hahahaha.

Today was a moody day, actually. Went to school for Lit P4 workshop, in which I had good fun joking around with Sherilyn, Carolyn, Vimal and a few of their friends, who I am sure are convinced that I am quite a lunatic. My debates shirt did not seem to correspond with my behaviour. Man, I have been deprived of debating for so long. A really intense, mind gruelling and emotional debate which leaves me brain dead for the rest of the day. Darn. After 3rd Dec, I wanna come back to debate with the rest!

The kids who I taught early this year emailed me about some case clarifications and their constant references to me as 'Miss Sneha' is extremely amusing, and a bit unsettling. I mean, heck, I am only 18?! (See, this is another instance where I convince myself that I am still a kid, and that I will not be joining the '20 something' crowd soon. But nevermind that)

I am also in a good mood to do Maths today. This is so weird. I am never in a good mood to do Maths. Hmmm...something's wrong with me today.

I have been recently presented with a dilemma, and I wish it wasn't like this. I mean, its a simple move. But I don't know where it will lead to, or whether I should. Its like going back a few years, and I am not sure if this is what I want.

Oh well. Time shall tell. Don't need to keep projecting into the future.

I have been meaning to go shopping. In fact, I need to, as much as I want to. I've been saving up quite a bit too, so its time to blow it all up! So materialistic, tsk.

I shall console myself by getting something small first, like a new pouch or a few pairs of ear studs. Yes, I shall do that. :D

On yet another random note, my mom and sister have evolved into gamers. No, really. On facebook, off facebook, what have you. Its so funny because they keep cheering about new points and Lord knows what else, and I am just being incredulous here in the corner. My parents' and sister's love for the cartoon Tom & Jerry is also unsettling. We watched Cartoon Network over breakfast today. My dad says nobody's too young for cartoons. Lol. Its true I guess.

Kk, I am off to do Math! :D

"The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."
-Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)

 

Here's the daily dose of vague sentences:

Last night's phone call was wonderfully long, hilarious, insightful and heartwarming. I am so glad I spent those 2 hours 22 minutes talking to you.
I am looking forward to meeting you. Its been too long, I think.

Thank you, for everything. Each day I look at you, and I gain more perspectives about myself, about this world, and about us.

You're seriously cute. And I hope you always stay this way.

I am so happy for you. I hope you continue to do this.

You rock, period.

Your one action has changed everything.

We're so gonna party in December!

Go away.

Why are you leaving so early? You suck, you know that?

You have no idea.

I hope you're not so sad anymore.

Eh, shut up.

HAHAHAHA.

I'm so full of nonsense. 

~

The past few days has been relatively productive. Didn't think it would be, but Mr Ang's advice of locking oneself in one's room works to an extent. Just keep those darn Diwali goodies away for Pete's sake.

I think going away from the internet for a good 2 months will give me like 80% more concentration. But nah, not gonna happen, I think. 

Time for my very late dinner. Mum's calling me, for the 2938947th time. 

Bye, world.

(this post was kind of dumb, but whatever...KTHXBAI.) 





 

There is just too much confusion in this world, I think.

Honestly.

In relationships, mentality, emotions, academia, conflicts, countries and the damned list goes on and on.

STOP.

.
.
.

The punctuation doesn't seem to stop anything, obviously.

Sometimes, I think its happiest to live life on simplistic terms. Do what makes you happy at that moment, say and think what you like and feel, be merry and just...Wait, thats not realistic, is it?

First thing in the morning I read about a 9 year old girl getting scalded badly and caned for 'stealing' 50 cents. She hid in the bathroom but her father threw boiling water from the space between the bathroom door and ceiling onto her head and face. Then he got her out and caned her because she said he didn't buy her stationery.
Reading that just broke my heart. Honestly. The girl's mother left her when she was 5 days old, and the girl lived with her father and stepmother. I am so saddened by this entire story. Can you imagine the girl's fear, the pain, the trauma? And I am appalled that the man could actually do such a thing. I know there have been a million more disturbing and evil stories of child abuse, and violence and so on...but this news report just made me feel so bloody sad. I hope the girl will grow up to be a strong woman with big dreams.

The world isn't just filled with confusion, its filled with pain too.

But there always stories of home, of reunions, of misunderstandings cleared, hopes fulfilled, success achieved, love attained...

I need to read more of those tales. Being cynical really sucks. ): Do what you think is right, not just for the rest, but for yourself. Because nobody else will bother that much. Really.

Okay, time to switch off my cynical mode.

Time to be optimistic and lame, and crazy. That's where the fun is at, thats where the life is at.

The rest is all (yes we come back to the start of the post) confusion.

Hello world.

Today was a very tiring day, and I am so glad its coming to an end. The Dunman High GP paper, and the VJ Maths paper-both very challenging! And the general lessons and school was draining.

A plus was the Subway outing with Evelyn, Jaswin and Thon, people who really make me happy and high. Though in the beginning today I was oddly quiet and politely nodding-somehow they caught that I was sad/tired/frustrated/stressed/mad and they asked (to my genuine surprise). I didn't know my incessant chatter and rubbish was really that incessant. Anyways, they cheered me up quite a fair bit. And and and thank you Evelyn and Thon for going out to find me in Junction 8 when I got "lost" (searching for the washroom). Truly, how very noble!

The train ride home, which was a very very very long one, was very insightful and reassuring. I feel much better after talking to Evelyn and Jaswin (: Thanks, you two!

I am also very amused by Thon lately. We seem to be laughing in very demented ways, and we seem to be on the same frequency, which is crazy at times. Like today during Math-really mad I swear.

Now, its off to shower and do some work. Kudos to Evelyn who has yet another 3 hours of Math now. My goodness. I really hope she does well at A Levels-this amount of Math in one freaking day is hazardous to health?! (There, you hear the Math lover in me speaking) Lol. Actually, I find Maths interesting: If I know how to do the problems. I find it very interesting-Some of the pure maths topics. But the others...ahem, nvm.

On another random note, here's an interesting quote: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born"-Anais Nin (French Author).

Off I go, now.

Till next time.
XOXO (Bimbo much?) HAHA.
;)

:(

For all that had happened, all that didn't, and all that could have been.

Making choices-its a matter of priority, isn't it? But sometimes, memories and speculation leads you to places you may not necessarily want to go to.

Staying on the main road is typical, comfortable and expected. But its only when you enter the dim alley that you feel the thrill, the pain, the longing, the fear, the excitement.

To do what you want to do, and forget about what you should- freedom and responsibility don't go hand in hand, hmm?

Wish we could go back to the day it all began, but I convince myself it was just a sham.

I have been so tired of saying yes that I had almost forgotten how it feels to say a loud, resounding, satisfying NO.

Sheesh, the past few months have played with my head in too many unnecessary ways. Silly phase. But an important one nonetheless.

Being good to others is not just the right thing to do, its the important thing to do. But if this comes at compromising all the time, and conforming for the other party, alarm bells better start ringing. I guess towards some people, alarm bells have been ringing at the back of my head for many weeks.

Sometimes, I get so raving mad, about the different people in my life-that I come close to snapping. The few times I have snapped are very rude, so I try my bloody best to not get mad. And some of these frustrations are longstanding. Tolerating certain attributes that absolutely put me off-I see this as being an accommodating friend. But there are limits.

I really enjoy how I am going back to my impulsive days. Caging in my exclaimations (yes, I do tha sometimes, stop feigning shock) is so stupid.

I feel like I am going back to the good old 14 year old days. Days where I never cared about others' perceptions, possible reactions and expectations. Where I could just be, and things just fell into place. This whole going back to the old way is a refreshing change, and a timely one.

There is no better time to be nonchalant about petty issues, and focus fully on my studies, than NOW.

Sometimes, I wish I could turn time and withhold some information, some comments, some actions. But then, I think-I wouldn't be like this if all that hadn't happened. The JC experience is coming to an end. An interesting experience to say the least. I have learnt so much about people, society, morality, karma, and most importantly-about myself.

To friends, I will always be here to lend a helping hand. I truly wish you all the best.

On another note, my home is abuzz with activity, and I forsee such an atmosphere this month! Deepavali, other festivals, visitors, Sister's final exams, many formalities for the new home, and more stuff. I can totally forsee my Mum becoming more agitated :) Not to forget that we may move into my new home sooner than expected so all the packing etc might just start. I just realised I haven't moved somewhere for 8 years. :D Anyways, I hope for my Mum's sake that I don't irritate her :D And also be of some help in this hectic period! (I am such a good kid, no? :P) Wait, I am guessing I have no choice but to be of help? Lol.

Back to work for now. Stay happy people, and work hard! The year's almost done.
:)

I just felt tremors.

It woke me up, and I literally felt myself go side to side, right to left, for a good 2-3 minutes.

Such a surreal feeling. And I initially thought I was just being sleepy, and then I felt them more definitely and it was so freaky.

Called my sister to the room who proceeded to lie down, and she felt it too.

And by the time my mum came, they had stopped, but the standing lampshade next to me swayed like crazy.

I am hearing the news now: The earthquake is of 7.6 magnitude on the Ritcher scale, off Sumatra.

:/

I hate the after-effect of good times-that feeling of going back into routine. Its so bloody irritating and gloomy.

But what has to be, has to be. Its freaking 23 Sep already. I don't know where this month disappeared into. Oh wait, PRELIMS maybe? Speaking of which, I am not looking forward to the grades at all. This is so depressing.

I don't like how I have become so much less happier and optimistic in the second half of the year. I've always been very cheerful and always seen the bright side of things. But lately, too much has been weighing me down, and too much has been clouding my happy inner self. I need to get rid of all this baggage and go back to how I've always been. So much of worry, sadness, worry, sadness....IS ANNOYING. I don't like being gloomy (who does?)-its like going against who I am. I am naturally a crazy and weird person. This new sense of distance and silence is scary.

Not like I have become some deranged, depressed, obssessed maniac or anything. Its just that the way I look at small things in life these days signal to me that I need to shed off all my worries. Some friends reminded me of my the way I have always looked at troubles, uncertainity and life in general and I think-wait a minute! Whats changed?

Now, its time to take things as they come. Throw your head back, laugh a little louder. Smile and keep trusting. Life is not so much about all this negativity. Its really about giving, hoping, learning and so on.

Tomorrow is back to school day. The past few days have been enjoyable in a sense...have been watching movies for one, and went for my first karaoke session, read, listened to music, watched a lot of videos, TV and went out for meals too. Its been good, with a few hiccups hear and there. But I must somehow get myself to work very hard until Dec 3, and then...LIBERTY!

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy
-Leo F. Buscaglia

Be and stay happy everybody.

Its a lovely rainy day today! Cold natural air is so much better than cold airconditioned air or fan generated air. I want to live on top of a mountain one day.

Maths was, I maintain, a complete joke. I don't even know what in the world I was doing, especially for Statistics. I better get down to practising more, something I have been majorly putting off. My mum has said that the coming Hari Raya break is going to be filled with maths practice sessions. Wee, how exciting. I'm really, really looking forward to it! -.-

History was alright, not too bad, like "egad i am so doomed" but also not like "aha! watch me go!!!". It was well, fair I guess. But but but, the thing about history is not how much you know, but how well you use what you know to analyse and evaluate in context. Pretty interesting, but not always easy.

I just lost the interest to continue blogging.

So anticlimatic.

Okay, must psyche myself for the upcoming mugging.

Shower.

Organise stuff and keep it ready to be "pounced" upon

Eat dinner.

STUDY!!!

:D

Less than two months to the freaking A levels.

I NEED TO START MUGGING PROPER.

But till then :D Adieu!

Take it easy!